The Past

My husband is Bipolar. More specifically he's "Bipolar Type I with Impulse Control Tendencies." I wasn't aware of this when we eloped in September of 2010, though he was.

We were already planning a spring wedding to take place in April of 2011 when I discovered I was pregnant. I was unemployed at the time so we made the decision to elope for health care purposes. Oddly enough I'm still making plans for our "formal" wedding that is to take place in April. When we eloped we didn't fly anywhere fancy or make any extravagant plans. I wore a black skirt and teal sweater and we had a friend perform the ceremony. We were officially married next to the port-a-potties outside of the local Renaissance Festival, on International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Not the most romantic wedding, but we were happy and in love.

Six days after our impromptu ceremony I had a miscarriage. It was officially deemed a "chemical pregnancy", which is just an extremely early miscarriage. I was in shock and all my husband could keep saying was, "are you sure?" It was traumatic for both of us, but unfortunately I never had an appropriate opportunity to deal with it.

Exactly one week, five days from the miscarriage and  two weeks, four days from our wedding the unthinkable happened. At 3:30 PM on October 7, 2010 I sent a text to my husband stating, "I love you and can't wait for you to get home from work." The response was simply "MCI airport, terminal C, upper level, row 17 is where your car is." That's all it said. I attempted to text him back to ask why my car was at the airport and received no answer. I called several times and his phone went straight to voicemail. I was extremely confused but thought maybe it was a mistake. We shared my car, which he had taken to work that morning. His work (which was my former employer as well) was across the street so I walked over to find him. I made my way up to the third floor and started questioning mutual friends as to whether or not they had seen him that day. The answer was a consistent "no." I went to find the schedulers (who maintain the call-in line) and asked if he had called in sick. Not only had he called in sick that day, but every other day that week! I immediately panicked. I didn't understand. Everything had seemed just fine. I did NOT see this coming at all. We had even made love that morning before he left the house. We were happy, why would he leave?

I broke down in the office. I doubled over in pain and began to sob. I had worked in this office for 4 years and knew almost everyone. They didn't know what to do! Finally, one of my dearest friends came and escorted me to a quiet, private room to talk. We worked out a plan for me to go to the airport and get my car. A former coworker would drive me there as soon as she got off work.

To be continued...